


Moths to a Flame

by GrievousCollection



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, Inquisitor Anders (Dragon Age), Mentions of past abuse, anders week 2019, spirit solidarity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 06:23:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21031685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrievousCollection/pseuds/GrievousCollection
Summary: Anders makes a friend who understands him like no one else does.





	Moths to a Flame

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Anders week, with the prompt Manifesto/Neurodivergent Anders. I think he and Cole would be good friends. Consider this a part two to A Laugh a Minute.

Cole had mystified Anders when they’d first met in Haven, but when they spoke, it felt as if they had always known each other. It made sense. Spirits of compassion were a big part of spirit healing, after all.

“What do you see in me?” Anders had once asked him.

“You’re bright, not just from the mark,” Cole had said. “Warm. Inviting. Pieces of the Fade are drawn to you like moths to a flame. But the flame doesn’t hurt them. It strengthens them, gives them direction. You give direction, and they give you guidance, drive.”

Ten years’ worth of weight began to lift from his shoulders. Not just his, he observed, but Justice’s as well.

\---

“You try to make yourself forget,” Cole said one day.

Anders blinked at him. “I’m sorry?”

“‘It happens, but I’ve been fortunate.’ Darkness all around. Bruises fresh, a dull ache in the side of your head. ‘Am I going to die here? If I’m dying, can it happen a little faster?’” The scared look in Cole’s eyes could mirror only that of a frightened apprentice. “You call yourself fortunate, try to make the pain smaller, but it sharpens, cutting deeper when it visits.”

It was impossible to deny anymore. There was some pain in admitting the truth, but it felt good to acknowledge.

\---

Anders returned from Caer Oswin feeling as though he might vomit. He couldn’t even look Cassandra in the eyes without boiling inside - this whole time, there had been a cure for Tranquility, the Seekers had known about it, and they were keeping it a secret?

Hawke and Varric gave him sympathetic looks, but he ignored them, sitting alone outside with his head in his hands.

“You couldn’t have saved him.”

Anders looked up.

The spirit of compassion stood over him, the brim of his hat barely casting a shadow. Behind his shaggy blond hair, the spirit’s eyes were sad, yet hopeful. “The cure existed, but out of reach, beyond your knowledge. There was pain, of the delayed sort, pain that isn’t felt until it’s gone. He wanted it to end. You did the right thing, Justice.”

Anders’ eyes began welling up. “That’s what I’ve told myself for the last ten years,” he said. “But knowing what I could have done, I only wish I could go back, change things. If I’d known…”

Cole sighed and sat down. “Once, I helped in a bad way. The mages were hurting, and I thought I had to kill them to be real. Someone showed me another way. I want to help.”

A tear ran down Anders’ cheek. He wiped it away. “You’re right. No use dwelling on the past. I can use this information to help people now.” The old fire began burning inside him, re-igniting a drive that had lain dormant for far too long. “Thank you, Cole.”

Later, in his quarters, Anders sat down at his desk. Taking a moment to clear his thoughts, he once more brandished his pen.


End file.
